I have become a bad blogger lately. I would like to say it is because I am so busy I just can't find the time but the truth is, well that is kind of true. However it is not ALL true. The fact is most days I am so damn tired by the end of it that I end up curling up in a ball on my couch, begging Baby J to give me "just a minute so Mama can relax" and praying she will get so involved with something else I can watch my DVR'd Oprah in peace!
Yes, I said Oprah. Those of you who have known me for a number of years can pull yourself off the floor, I will pass the smelling salts once you hear the rest! Not only have I become addicted to Oprah in ways that are just beyond pathetic but I actually MISS watching it on the weekends and find myself RE-watching the episodes from the week. Yes I know it is pathetically sad, I may need an intervention if truth be told... or more shows of interest to become addicted to. Speaking of addiction the other show I have found in the last two weeks is Intervention, you think this would qualify me for a turn on there? Not to make light of that show and the subject content but seriously it could be a great show don't you think? All my friends and relatives can sit around and say wonderful things about me while we all cry tears of how sad I have become, the only problem would be to find the proper treatment facility to send me off too. Maybe a spa would work instead, I could go for that, that would be lovely truth be told, maybe someone will call them up for me?
Anyways, I am on a spiritual journey right now. It is funny how something "tragic" comes along and makes you re-evaluate your life and how you are leading it. I have become addicted to a number of "spiritual" things lately. I spend a lot of time doing Yoga (LOVE the Yoga, Yoga rocks) and watching Veria, the new network on Dish Satellite service, and some of the cool shows they have on there. There is one show that is kind of a documentary of "alternative" healing practices that is so cool. I can not remember the name of it off the top of my head to be honest. It would be sad really how "granola" I am becoming if it were not so funny.
I also am in meditation just about daily which helps to keep me grounded however I do have an alternative reason for that also. I hesitate to say anything about the reasons why as I don't normally share some of my deeper personal experiences on this subject with most as they tend to look at me strangely or come up with alternative explanations as to the whys of it. However, I have decided that this is my blog and so I will give you the basics of it. I realize what I am about to write will come as "sacrilege" to some however please remember these are my own extremely personal experiences and they are MY reality.
So, anyways, back to what I was saying. I have started meditating just about daily. Mostly because I find it INCREDIBLY relaxing however it is also part of my spiritual journey. When I was a child I use to have extremely prophetic dreams. It was rather scary to be honest and without a doubt freaky to be so young and to be doing something and know the outcome before it happened. Some call it a sixth sense, some coincidence but for me it never felt that way. I was always extremely sensitive to people and emotions but this was beyond that even. I found initially that the dreams had some significance to some event that was about to happen that would effect my life but as the years went on I started to have dreams about things that were just of no significance at all. For example a painting a co-worker asked if she could store in my office, it was bazaar to watch that unfold two days later and to be able to tell her what was in the paper when she herself had no clue. (btw for those of you who are about to bring up brain looping or whatever it is called can forget about it. A recent study has found that theory to be crap)
Anyways, that is not what I meant to tell you but it is a back ground. As the years have gone by I have had a number of spirit encounters with people I have loved who have passed on, in fact I "dreamed" of my grandfathers, aunts, and grandmothers deaths, the manner in which they died and said good-bye to them before anyone knew they had passed on or the manner in which they had died. My mother was accepting of it, she just assumed it was kind of a sixth sense kind of deal but not aware of the whole deal, my father would squash it, tell me it was just coincidence. It was not until years later that him and I got in a conversation that he finally admitted that he too had some of the same things I had but not to the extent and was even willing to listen to what I had to say. Because of this I tended to ignore most of these "feelings" until they were far and few between, besides I was raised as a good Catholic girl, what I am talking about is SINFUL beyond words. However this "gift" can not be squashed permanently, it will pop up occasionally when I am least expecting it but for the most part it has not been apart of my daily life.
In the last few months though I have been looking more at it. Maybe it is because I have grown, maybe it is because I have started to read about some spiritualist mediums that I respect or have a connection to just based on what I know of them, who knows. The fact is I have learned to look at it as a gift not as a something sinful. I am in no way shape or form a "gifted" physic like many a people out there let me make that clear and normally what I see and feel is mostly related to me and my life or those around me. For example if someone tells me about something in there life that they are struggling over I am normally fairly accurate in what the outcome will be. It is kind of bazaar.
OK, my point is that the journey I am on is making me not only embrace this gift, but myself and the world around me. I am a very giving and kind person, many in my life have tried to make me be who they want to be and I have adapted but no longer. I am finding the path to be true to myself and my life. To raise a wonderful little girl to be a strong wonderful loving women and to find it in myself to love myself and the world around me in the way it deserves to be loved. That my friends is the amazing journey I am on!
